I lost! Came up about 2,000,000 votes short! Obviously this page is now obsolete,
but I'll leave it online anyway for the chuckles.
November 28th update: Just found the vote totals. I got 16 !
I don't want to be Governor.
A Governor does not have the power to fix the main problems of his state because they are the nation's
problems. It is a particularly powerless position here in Illinois because we have a virtual King,
Speaker of the House, Mike Madigan. He is burrowed in like a tick on a rabid pit bull and nothing
happens without his say-so.
There are a bunch of things that need to get done that will not because they don't fit with his agenda.
Illinois has fallen into a financial hell under his management and he doesn't care how deep it sinks as
long as his rich buddies and the Democratic Party big wigs are happy.
But there are 4 reasons for me to apply for the job:
1. It could help with my 2020 Presidential campaign if I have the title of Governor. You can't
jump to the top of the Warped Wall in 1 bound.
2. Having some related job experience might actually be helpful as President.
3. I need to pay some bills! As I am writing this, I am expecting an unpleasant letter from the
mortgage company, the utility bills are stacking up and the fridge is dead. And 3411.77$ per week
sounds like great pay to me! That's WAY more than I have ever earned doing real work.
4. The most important reason. We need to strike a blow against Big Money. A penniless
working man stealing the election from the 2 parties and their super rich candidates would be
a nice way to kick off a rebellion against a run amok system that will never be fixed by the
government or the political parties.
I have nothing against Rauner or Pritzger. They both seem well intentioned and it's not their fault they are
rich. What would you do if you had a billion dollars? Give it away because you didn't work for it?
2 super rich guys fighting over a job that pays 177,412$ per year. They are each spending about that much
every day on their campaigns. And of course, the DNC and the GOP are pouring $$$$$ into it. This election
is projected to reach 300,000,000$, the most expensive race for governor in U.S. history.
Wuzzup widdat?!
It does not seem to make any sense for anybody, but here's something to think about:
Elections have always been expensive everywhere and they keep getting more expensive. Winning is usually
the result of spending more than your opponent. Many rich people donate alot of money to candidates they
like. Some rich people run for office themselves.
It's working well for them. The laws keep getting more favorable for the rich. The cut-off to be listed in
the Forbes 400 is now 2,000,000,000$ and the range within it keeps getting wider. The top guy (Bill Gates)
has more than the bottom 43. And the top 4 together have more wealth than the bottom 170 million
American citizens. (Read the 3 money related pages for more about this)
Oligarchy - rule by the rich.
If you don't have a problem with that, go ahead and vote for Bruce or JB. But don't say I didn't warn you
when you can't afford to live here anymore.
Rumor has it that you can live on 3,000$ a year . . . in Honduras!
There is no campaign.
Not for Governor, anyway. I may mention that I'm a write-in for Guv while I'm campaigning for Prez, but I
will spend no more time or money beyond what's required to satisfy the Election Commission. So far
that has totalled about 100 hours to register & slap this web page together and 150 bucks for ink, paper,
envelopes & stamps. (In IL you have to file a Declaration To Be A Write-in Candidate form with every
local election authority in the state!)
Notice that there is no Donate button on this page.
It's not so much that I don't really want to be Governor, it's that the point of this is to break the escalating
Big Money cycle, so doing it with practically no money makes it better... purer.
Even if I only get 1% of the vote, it could put a serious dent in the giant election machine. And if
I win, if WE win, the machine will grind to a screeching halt that will be heard across the country.
Got anything you want me to work on as Governor? Click the contact link below.
I have a few things I'd like to work on:
IDOT. They missed a letter. It should be IDIOT. They are wasting our time and gas and air by timing
traffic lightes to stop us at almost every major intersection during the day. Just take a ride at 3 a.m..
Magically, you can go on & on without ever stopping! Take the same route after 6 a.m.. You take off
when the light finally changes green, get up to 45 or whatever the limit is, and just before you get to
the next light, it's changing to red. And of course, you will see a bunch of cars waiting at the cross
street that could have been on their way while your street was clear.
I will fire the entire management and hire people who aren't working for the oil industry!
Another massive time waster:
Telephone Solicitors. The US Congress passed the Do Not Call List (finally, godamit!) in 2003 and
promptly went back to their own concerns, ignoring the FTC's failure to effectively enforce the law.
I get about half a dozen calls a day from Rachel and her friends offering credit card debt relief, Google
search result enhancement, tech support for my Windows computer, or nothing, they just wanted to
interrupt. Blocking the numbers with my imbicile phone is a waste of time because the numbers are fake.
It should be child's play for the phone company's systems to stop this or at least detect high volume
illicit users and report them to the government.
It's a sure bet that they are making alot of money from the scammers. You'd think it would occur to the
20,000,000$ CEOs of the phone companies that the crooks are using their platforms to rip off their
customers. How long do you think a pick pocket would be allowed to operate in the aisles of your local
Walgreens before the manager called the cops?
Since Uncle Skam isn't handling the problem, I will get together with the other Governors to arrange
something involving arrests of perpetrators and hefty fines for the phone companies till they stop
enabling the abuse of the public's time.
If you got to this page directly, click the buttons on the left to see what I want to do as President.
At the bottom of every page are links to my presence on the web.
Participated in a debate last Tuesday with another candidate, Dan Fein of the Socialist Workers Party.
There were supposed to be 3 more candidates, but they chickened out. (There are at least 14 all told,
including JB and Bruce.)
I thought I did OK for my 1st public debate, but after watching the vid, I kinda wish my car broke down
on the way there! I was disorganized, didn't answer questions coherently, digressed, said 'King
Ryan instead of Madigan and leaning back made my neck look flabby.
But, my opening joke and the above video got laffs, so it wasn't all bad. Dan Fein did a damn fine job
of presenting his platform and opinions. He could have done well in a debate against the main
candidates on live TV, whereas I am clearly not ready for prime time.
Thanks to Joseph Kopsick, Aaron Goldberg, Ethan Windmillsky and Eric Sinderman for organizing the
event. Special thanks to Ash David for his excellent camera work.
Pritzker is doing a good job. Competent, responsible, no drama. No scandals!
